problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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