So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
