wake up i wanna do it froggy style
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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