So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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