what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
