I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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