WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
