My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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