I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
