you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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