how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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