Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
