i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Buhtt sex?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We are two peas in an std pod
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
