: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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