She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
