Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
