i don't like sucking hair
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
