He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
