I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
