1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
