He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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