this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
