My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
