We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
