You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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