Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
