Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize