Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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