Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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