Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize