dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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