So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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