bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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