I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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