Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
