ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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