I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
