no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
