I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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