When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
