I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no, he came in my armpit
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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