wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize