So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
