Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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