Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
