Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
