Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
