How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
