ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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