Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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