I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize