Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
