Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize