I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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