This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
