i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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