what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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