so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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