oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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