So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
