i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
