so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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