You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
